


Ladies' Night In

by shinykari (meinterrupted)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Community: avengerkink, Darcy is the fandom bicycle and I love it, F/F, Foursome - F/F/F/F, Kink Meme, Multi, Podfic Available, also this fandom needs more femslash, amirite?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-15
Updated: 2012-06-15
Packaged: 2017-11-07 19:45:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/434687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meinterrupted/pseuds/shinykari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the girls watch movies, drink a lot of booze, and then things get interesting.</p>
<p>Now available as a <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/780015">podfic</a> by the lovely <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/exmanhater/pseuds/exmanhater">exmanhater</a>!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ladies' Night In

**Author's Note:**

> Written in response to this [anonymous prompt](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/6021.html?thread=8540037#t8540037) at [avengerskink on LJ](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com): _In which there's copious alchohol and telling of tall tales and never-have-i-ever and body shots and laughing kisses and more serious makeouts and then full-on sex._
> 
> Because unf.
> 
> GIVE ME ALL YOUR GIRL-ON-GIRL.
> 
> (Add or remove any lady pairings as you like, but please just ladies.)

“…two cartons of Ben & Jerry’s, six four-packs of wine coolers in various flavors, and two bottles of pre-made margarita—one regular, one strawberry—for the blenders.” Pepper marked the last items off the list and turned to Darcy. “Anything else?”

Darcy grinned. “I think Natasha said she’s bringing vodka.”

Pepper tried to stifle her smirk, but couldn’t quite manage it. “Of course she is.”

A brisk knock on the door interrupted their conversation, and the assassin in question walked in, carrying two bottles of vodka, followed by Sif and Jane. “Drinks and snacks over here,” Darcy called, pointing to the kitchenette counter that was currently covered with various salty snacks and more alcohol than was probably healthy. “And Jane, don’t you dare change that DVD. We’re totally watching The Princess Bride first tonight, because Sif has been deprived of the glory that is Westley and Buttercup. And THEN we’re watching Cruel Intentions, because I want everyone to get the jokes when we finally work our way up to Not Another Teen Movie, because that Chris guy who plays the jock is super hot. Now get your genius butt over here and help me pass out the wine coolers.”

A couple hours and a few drinks (okay, several; if they’d been drinking canned beer they would totally have a kick-ass beer-amid going), Darcy was painting Sif’s toenails sparkly blue when the Sarah Michelle Gellar-Selma Blair kissing scene came on. “Oh!” She smeared some of the paint across Sif’s big toe as she bounced excitedly. “Man, I totally had a girl-crush on SMG when this movie came out. Buffy was totally sexy,” she said.

Sif raised one eyebrow in her direction. “You are attracted to women? I thought you had romantic intentions for the scientist who turns green?”

“Ohmygod, Sif, you’re not supposed to say that out loud,” she whined. “Secret crushes are supposed to stay _secret_. That’s why I told you about Dr. Banner _in confidence_.” Sif had the good sense to at least act chagrined. “Besides, you can like both, it’s called bisexual. Or barsexual, in my case.”

Jane smirked. “Hey Katy Perry, is that when you go to bars and make out with other girls to score free drinks?”

“I was a very poor college student with questionable morals and a great rack,” Darcy countered. “Everyone wants to motorboat the girls, and sometimes that leads to, you know, other stuff.” Her eyes narrowed at Jane. “Don’t try to tell me you’ve never kissed a girl; I know all your secrets. What was that chick’s name—the astrophysicist from USC with the butch haircut?”

Natasha chose that moment to speak up. “I have been with several women. Seduction is a very useful interrogation technique that does not work on just men.”

Darcy knew she was gaping like a fish, and, when she chanced a look at the others, she realized she wasn’t the only one. “Huh,” she finally managed. “Well, I’d totally hit it,” which made Natasha grin and Jane sputter a laugh. Pepper rolled her eyes and Sif just looked a little confused. “Hit it, slang for ‘totally do the hot Russian assassin who could probably kill me with her pinky,’” she explained, waggling her eyebrows at Nat and finally capping the nail polish, because with the way this conversation was rapidly devolving, it would probably end up spilled all over Tony’s very expensive carpet. “And now, ladies, I believe it is time for shots!”

She stood up and made her wobbly way to the kitchenette while Sif and Natasha continued to talk about seducing women—and damn, that would be totally hot in a Xena Warrior Princess takes on spy!Barbie kind of way, wouldn’t it?—where she’d stashed a bottle of Hornitos tequila and pre-cut lime wedges for just this sort of thing. (Darcy knew the advantages of pre-planning; she hadn’t gotten the job as Coulson’s assistant because of her tits, after all, and knives + booze = BAD. Just ask her roommate from sophomore year.) “Who wants tequila?” 

+++

If she had to write up a report on the rest of the evening, Darcy would blame what followed on Natasha for two reasons. Reason the first, if anyone would be able to hold their own against the wrath of Coulson and/or Fury, it would be the Russian, and B) she was the one who suggested body shots in the first place, and that was totally how it started. She was totally fine licking the salt off her own hand, but then Natasha pulled down the neckline of her shirt and offered her cleavage in a not at all subtle move, and before she knew it, she was licking the curve of one of her breasts and sprinkling it with salt.

On her other side, Jane made a squeak of surprise when Darcy turned to pour herself the shot and grab a lime wedge. The burn of the tequila and the tartness of the lime didn’t quite chase away the taste of Natasha’s skin--an intoxicating mix of sweat and floral soap--and Darcy was surprised to find herself eyeing the other breast. “Better make those match,” she muttered to herself before moving in to repeat the process.

Sif understood the mechanics of body-shots almost immediately--did they do those on Asgard, she wondered?--and soon Darcy found herself flat on her back with an Aesir warrior-woman licking a line of salt south from her navel. She looked up to see Pepper and Natasha forgoing the whole shot scenario and straight up making out on one of the couches, and that was apparently just too much sexy redhead for Darcy’s brain to handle because when Sif sat up to take her shot, Darcy grabbed the back of her head and tugged her down for a kiss.

And, goddamn, if this was how all hot alien god-beings kissed, she couldn’t blame Jane (the traitor) for sneaking away from the impromptu lovefest to find Thor, because Sif’s tongue had to be double-jointed or something as she licked her way into Darcy's mouth. She nibbled lightly at Darcy’s lower lip as calloused fingertips skated up her stomach to the undersides of her breasts, cupping them through her bra. Shameless, Darcy arched into the touch, encouraging Sif with little mewling sounds of pleasure as she fumbled for the fastenings of Sif’s clothing.

Darcy broke the kiss with a muttered curse and pulled back. Before Sif could protest, Darcy was mouthing at her neck while trying to unbuckle one of the straps keeping her clothes/armor/chastity belt-like contraption on. “What, are you like superglued into this thing, or something,” she huffed in frustration.

Sif just laughed. “Let me worry about my clothing, and you see to your own. I believe we are being outpaced,” she added, waving her hand at Pepper and Natasha, who were both already naked, and yeah, Darcy had Pepper pegged for a natural redhead, and she was so right on that. Pepper was sitting on the couch, legs spread, and Natasha knelt between them, using fingers and tongue to get Pepper moaning, and seriously, that was mind-blowingly amazing to watch. Her other hand moved between her own thighs, and if Darcy wasn’t not-so-secretly terrified of Natasha, she might offer to help her out with that.

As things stood, though, she just turned back to find Sif standing all gorgeous and naked and Darcy had always had a little bit of a secret crush on Lucy Lawless as Xena, and now her way hotter little sister was... Before she could complete that thought, Sif leaned down and grabbed the hem of Darcy’s tee shirt, tugging it up and off in one smooth motion. “I thought, little Midgardian, that we had a deal,” and then her lips were pressed against Darcy’s and between the tequila and the feel of Sif’s muscled body against hers, there wasn’t much room for any more thinking.

+++

The sound of Pepper Potts cursing was what finally dragged Darcy from the depths of her tequila and really good sex-induced coma. She opened her eyes to too-bright sunshine, had a few choice words for the world herself, and turned over to bury her face against the person next to her. Natasha mumbled something in Russian and tugged her closer. The movement jostled Sif, who was spooned up against Darcy’s other side, and she groaned, her hand tightening around Darcy’s hip. “Time’zit,” she croaked, her words mostly lost against Natasha’s warm skin.

“Just after ten," Pepper answered. "JARVIS, please close the blinds, dim the lights, and lock all doors to external entry. Has Tony seen the security feeds from this room last night?” Her voice was all business, which impressed Darcy, seeing as she still hadn’t managed to make her body move yet, and she thought Pepper had at least two more shots than she did. She was grateful when the AI did as Pepper asked, and the lighting in the room went from evil and blinding to simply intolerable even through closed lids.

“No, Ms. Potts,” the AI answered. “Mr. Stark and Mr. Barton decided last night would be a good evening to, and I quote, ‘break Steve’s brain,’ so they escorted him and several other agents to a gentleman’s club. They are all still recovering.” It paused. “Shall I erase this past evening from the hard drive, Ms. Potts? Or perhaps replace it with the video of another evening that had less... nudity?”

“JARVIS, you deserve a cookie,” Darcy muttered.

Pepper let out a relieved laugh. “Yes, JARVIS, please replace the feed from last night with another. Thank you.” She knelt down beside the other women and ran her fingers through Natasha’s hair. “Ladies, thank you for a... fantastic night. I have to get to the office. And you should all probably get dressed before Tony sobers up. If he finds you all here, like this...” She trailed off with a smirk. “He’ll be impossible, and even JARVIS won't be able to adequately bury this video.”

Darcy raised her head from Natasha’s chest and grinned at Pepper. “Mmm, we should do it again sometime. Maybe without so much tequila, though,” she added, grimacing. Sif mumbled something that sounded like an assent against Darcy’s skin, and Natasha just laughed.

+++

An hour, a hot shower, and a half-dozen Advil later, Darcy was perched on a stool in the kitchen of the main living level. She needed to finish this reading for her Public Policy seminar and after last night, that required her to sit within reaching distance of the coffee maker. She glanced up when Bruce walked in, angling for the coffee himself. She grinned, remembering what JARVIS had said about the boys’ night, and asked, “How was the strip club, Doc?”

“I, uh, didn’t go with them. Decided to take advantage of Tony’s absence and use his lab.” He paused, looked at her for a quick moment, then poured coffee into his mug. “How was movie night?”

She shrugged and looked down at her reading to highlight a section before answering. “Sif hadn’t seen ‘The Princess Bride’ before, so that was pretty entertaining. She critiqued Inigo and Westley’s sword fight, and well, pretty much all the other fights too. At least Natasha has the grace to understand that it’s a movie, and it’s not really _supposed_ to be realistic.” 

Bruce hummed noncommittally and leaned against the counter. “I always like Fezzik the best. The gentle giant—rather ironic, now,” he added with that self-deprecating grin that always made the butterflies in Darcy’s stomach go a little haywire. Oh yeah, she definitely had it bad.

He pushed off the counter, mug cradled in both hands, and headed for the hallway. Bruce paused, drew up next to her and leaned down, lips so close to her ear that she could feel his breath. “A friendly piece of advice: you should probably not tell Tony that story,” he murmured. Darcy looked up and frowned. “Since the new video shows you girls watching She’s All That,” he explained, leaving her gaping like a fish.

He was half-way down the hall before her brain caught up—which she was totally blaming on her hangover and definitely _NOT_ on the fact that Bruce had just been close enough to kiss, thankyouverymuch. “Wait! What are you talking about? What new video?” Her voice came out strangled, and she had to grab the edge of the counter to keep from falling off her stool. He couldn’t have seen anything, could he?

He stopped, turned, and shot her a smirk that would have looked more at home on Tony’s face than Bruce’s. “Tony likes to keep an eye on things when he’s in his lab. Last night, I was in Tony’s lab.” He winked at her--the smug bastard _winked at her_ \--just before ducking into the stairwell.

Darcy stared after him. “Son of a bitch,” she muttered, and collapsed despondently onto her homework. “Son of a fucking bitch.”

**Author's Note:**

> Any and all mistakes are mine. If you see something (missing words, tense issues, etc.) feel free to poke me.
> 
> The final section was not posted on the kink meme, because A) the OP requested no boys, and B) I wasn't sure it really fit with the rest. BUT! Bruce/Darcy is my new favorite pairing, and since my Marvel_Bang story is B/D and taking OVER MY BRAIN this is what you people get. I'm still not quite sure it works, but... well. Sosueme. :P

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic of] Ladies' Night In](https://archiveofourown.org/works/780015) by [exmanhater](https://archiveofourown.org/users/exmanhater/pseuds/exmanhater)




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